Layin Down the Monte Law OK, the wagon wheels apparently need some more grease. The original question was: Is cyber-dating a good thing, a bad thing, has it come too far? " RELATIVE OPINIONS ONLY. No need to create satellite/mini profiles expressing what I consider negative personal experiences. Youre still here. That must account for something, yes? Regarding this particular topic, please keep in mind that new and possible future members will be reading. I would hope that long time members would be kind enough to give HELPFUL advice as to overall positive aspects along with the potential pitfalls - Of cyber-dating in general. If youre a cyber-jaded member, it just doesnt bode well that youre unhappy with cyber-dating, or disgruntled with this particular site and yet, youre a long time member and youre still here. The Horse Apples blog IS NOT your opportunity to vent and I wont allow it to be turned into a Saturday nite chatroom. If I feel your post does not contribute constructively, towards other members, old and new as well as to the topic itself, it will not stay. No debate. We ALL can learn something from this thread if it is given a fair and untainted chance. Be thoughtful, be helpful, be contributory in a objective rather than subjective manner or ...be gone...! >m<

And, on a side note. I don't appreciate being associated with the red flag posts. I only asked ONE guy if he knew about goat herding and the thing with the tools was totally a joke.

Breezy you hit that right on the top of the nail. I praise you on your post!!!!!!!

The online thing has not been really successful for me. I made a few mistakes and then, well, I raised my standards so high that no one can meet them. The local bar seems a better place for me to go just simply because I can get a dance or two in and even though I don't meet Mr. Knight in Shining Armor, I had a good time and the beer was free. It works for me. And, I don't have to book a flight to God knows where to meet someone, then have an awkward two days to a week where we make small talk after the chemistry wasn't right. Then, you see them in chat later and wonder if they said anything to anyone. YIKES! As we know, the rumors fly, but seldom do they come back to you. Anyway, I stay on ES because I know so many wonderful people from here. So many have left or passed away (yes, I knew Tim and Bushy and Bill and several others), but I still come in and say hello and pass some BS around. For love, I'll look for that in my own zip code. I can't move anywhere anyway. My awesome job won't go with me. Besides, people dream of living where I live, why would I leave?

I'm always reminded of the saying I learned when I first came to ES... If they seem to be too good to be true, they probably are. Doesn't mean that we all don't get fooled at least once, but its the same in the "real" world. Those "yellow" flags you may have when you first make contact will turn into BIG "red" flags later.. listen to your inner voice.

Hey thanks CGW and welcome to the Horse Apples blog. Speakin of frogs, it brings to mind a little ditty I posted on ES way back in 07. It was just before I checked myself into the Betty Ford Cyber Clinic for PTPS treatment - Post Traumatic Posting Syndrome. After initial evaluation, Betty ended up giving me an open-end lease on my room... Posted: Sep 28, 2007 at 12:53 AM Online Dating…Welcome To The Modern Day Enchanted Forest I refer to the phenomenon of online dating as the Enchanted Forest because it can possibly be enchanting and it can definitely be a forest. A place with its own rules and boundaries. Beware to be wary when entering the Enchanted Forest. Gypsies, tramps and thieves are known to lurk about but if you’re lucky, you might meet a prince or princess. However, I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to kiss any talking frogs simply because they were most likely talking frogs before they came to the Forest and therefore possess no transformational skills, no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise. Another thing to be aware of is after being in the Forest a while, your thought making process can get distorted. The reasonable judgment you once possessed before entering the Enchanted Forest can disappear as quickly as the sunlight. On the other hand, it is said there is a heightened intelligence and new sense of awareness to be gained by exploring the Enchanted Forest. This just means youre getting harder to fool. The Enchanted Forest is not near as complicated to traverse as some make it out to be. Just let responsible choices be your guide. If it’s not what you expected and you find yourself in a shroud of disappointment and or confusion, it won’t be the end of the world. As far as leaving suggestions and complaints, the Forest is laughing, it is what it is...>m< Author's Footnote; Legend has it that a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow exists somewhere in the Enchanted Forest. Some even say the pot is disguised as a rusted out Uhaul trailer long abandoned aside one of the Forest's trails, its adventure in moving never to be revealed. Though there are words etched into the side of the trailer: “Willing to relocate- what was I thinking…?”

Well said Monte Walsh! And very funny as well. You never disappoint. I am sure it is only a matter of time before you create a Jim Jones or David Koresh profile! If people are unhappy with dating sites, why do they choose to remain on a website? There is an ASK MONTE question for you. Would they be any happier at a church social, providing it's not organized by a David Koresh type. And lets not forget Warren Jeffs, the felon still heading up the Church of Jesus Christ latter day saints (LDS). Now there's an honest fellow for you. Is this okay because it is a church? There is dishonesty, thieves, and losers everywhere in the world, but hopefully most people are savvy enough (and not too eager to connect) to be able to weed out the Frogs. The fact is that there are more marriages and success stories from online dating sites then anywhere else. Yes dishonest people frequent those sites but they lurk everywhere, at your job, your church, bars, chatrooms, facebook, etc. If you start asking couples how they met, a large majority say through a dating site. And if you are disillusioned with online dating try to meet others in a bar, and see how that works for you.

The niche deal does give a starting point. But one has to know going in that any niche site 'candidate" isnt going to be any more upstanding or even more "real" than what you come across in the real world niche person you seek. It just requires a lengthier sorting/discovery process. If it's a religious site, just be glad David Karesh isnt with us anymore and I can only imagine how Jim Jones's profile would read:"Hey baby, let's hook up and knock back some cool-aid..." And I can tell you this in matters of the equestrian-niche: It is my premeditated & sufficiently educated guess that at least 50% of the real world's dummies own horses and of that, 49% have access to a computer.. It's easy to blame a site for member deceit, lack of good "prospects" etc, but the truth is, dating sites have no control over who you are, where you live and how deep your past relationship battle scars run and what requirements you now profess to insure what has happened to you in your past doesnt happen again. If not careful, your profile becomes a "cyber-wish list..." at which even Santa might scoff... It's good we try to learn from our mistakes but here's the deal: A dating site profile is just words and photos and the guarantee you will find something or somebody that insures you wont repeat past mistakes, based on a mere profile, well...here's a horse apple I shined up just for you. Careful now, there's a little worm hole in the bottom but it's probably nothing...>m<

Indeed, the other side of the dating site coin is gypsies, tramps and thieves do slither about. Some would make the scoundrelous crowd look upstanding. Personally, I think car salesmen, hay brokers and most politicians all roost in the very same tree, just on different branches. Common sense and a fairly good B.S. tracking radar system are pretty good tools to possess but I've put together a Top Ten Red Flag Emails list to assist those who possess less than 20/20 cyber-vision: 10) You have 12 photos posted of yourself and someone emails you and asks: “Do you have more photos?” 9) Someone emails and asks: ”Do you have a 401K?” 8) A woman’s profile indicates she is remodeling her house. She emails you and inquires: “Are you handy with tools?” 7) A man emails a woman and asks: “Is there a bar, poker palace or horse track near you?” 6) A man emails a woman and says: I have to leave where I am temporarily staying immediately. I don’t have a horse but do you have a parking spot for my live-in horse trailer and 3 dogs?” 5) A woman who, in her profile, mentions owning a large ranch, emails a man and asks: “If there is no chemistry, will you work for minimum wage?” 4) A woman emails a man and asks: “Do you know anything about goat herding?” 3) A man whose profile indicates he lives in Alaska emails a woman and says: “ I think you are my cyber-soulmate and then asks: “Can you use an axe?” 2) A woman who writes in her profile she has 6 toddlers emails a man and asks: “How are your babysitting skills?” And the number 1 Top Ten Red Flag email question for online daters, according to Monte is…”Oh I can’t wait to meet you too but can’t you get an earlier flight back home?” >m<

As the Horse Apples wagon goes along, every now n then a wheel or 3 will require an adjustment; a little grease, a tweak here, a tweak there, ya know, just to keep us rollin along smoothly.. When I post a topic and said topic is asking for MEMBER OPINION, it is just that, an individual opinion. Where I come from, opinions are neither right nor wrong but entitlement has always been a paltry 2 cent buy in. Following this notion, refraining from including a "I Disagree" avoids the nastiness of: "I'm right and youre so wrong... I know you are but what am I, sticks n stones and the ultimate road apple - Yea, well, your horses are ugly..." >m<