This is indeed a refreshing blog. Monte darlin', I tried for years back when to rope you, all to no avail. Now, my old, arthritic shoulder clicks and squeaks when I swing a rope so I guess you are finally safe from me. I never met my one and only mate on this site either, or any site, for that matter LOL. But, I have made lifelong friends, which in some ways, is even better. Some have passed over but have left in indelible mark on my soul. Others are still with me, on Facebook, in person and in my heart. Today I am Thankful for ES and the people I have in my life because of it. In gratitude, WarPony53

It cracks me up when someone puts "you decide" in their appearance block when they have no pic of themselves. Kind of hard to form an opinion of what you can't see. lol

When it comes to selecting APPEARANCE, I think there's room for discussion here. In modest of course... Def of modest - free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions. So, does selecting "Above Average Looks" give the appearance of someone being - free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness or great pretensions? If so, what does choosing "Resemble my Horse or You decide say about oneself? Ya know, it's kind of an odd deal. Cyber-dating can create a reality check of sorts between how a person perceives oneself and how they are perceived by others who actually have a stake in the same game. By that I mean, when folks fill out a profile on any dating site, the 'appearance" choice although perhaps based on your own honest beliefs, may be seen as "a lie" or being "full of yourself" by other members, especially if youre going with the almost "elite" sounding Above Average. While I'm at it, when did personal appearance become about averages...? Personally, I think "You Decide" is the most modest and unpretentious choice. It certainly creates the least amount of pressure. For the guys, there is a bright side. If youve already fudged your height from 5'-5" to 6'-2', chances are pretty good your potential cyber-babe wont hang around long enough to debate your looks...>m<

Monte I think we all agree that "above average looks" is a modest choice. But meanwhile back at the OK corral it appears Admin had to remove a few posts from the Looks category topic. It was getting a little heated. There are many reasons why a person chooses to hide a profile. Granted they probably won't get a lot of responses if they send emails, but there are some people who use the site that are recognizable in the equestrian world and wish to remain anonymous or a member of Law enforcement may not want to post their photos either. I am sure you will get some complaints about "off topic" posts being deleted as well.

Oh no! Not the blank/hidden profile thing again! While we're at it, let's make sure to drag up those who indicate 'Above Average Looks" also. I mean, why not instead just have a box that says - Egotistically Inclined ?? Speakin of , no I have not found my special someone. Apparently, no one is agreeing with my Above Average Looks rating I have given myself which is leaving me to constantly defend not only my looks but my cyber-integrity as well. I did briefly try - Resemble My Horse but someone invariably pointed out -"Hey buster, you dont look anything like your horse...!" In the meantime, just for you's out of the dont-need-to-know loop, there's a new message board topic that's gatherin all the rave/rage. It seems that, at any given time, the ES Chat Room isnt being filled to capacity! Yea folksy members, we have a serious situation on that deal... Unlike other on-line chat rooms that are ALWAYS fun, civil and slammed packed with happy cyber-idiots 24/7, apparently the ES chat-room now sits mostly empty - A hollow but apparently still hallowed reminder of the days when, according to some, the room bustled with nothing but endless cyber-merriment, while others claim it was nothing more than a cruel and unusual experience but was OK if you slugged down a bottle of wine beforehand... A thought - I remember, back in the day, when only paying members had access to the ES Chat Room and non-members werent happy with that. Now that its accessible to paying members and non-paying members alike, we're not happy because no one participates. As the hangman said - "A brand new rope and yer still complainin...!" >m<

My two cents - Do not enter a dating site with a blank / hidden profile and complain of lack of interest. The person hiding is asking everyone else to be responsible for their failure to meet or get to know someone. PS - Monte where did you go??? Hope you found your special cyber someone ;)

Holy Cow! (Not literally, ok?). There is a lot of great information here for newbies to cyber-dating. For what it's worth, here's my two cents-worth of horse sense in a single sentence. That is, ...don't get so taken by the herd that you forget to see the individual equestrians. In other words, Don't just give profiles the ol' eyeball (QQ) test. Take time to talk to the people, not at them and meet the whole person. Let's face it, some people are great salespeople, others are creative or inventive, while some struggle to put thoughts into the written word, are poor photographers, or can't be expressive enough in this forum for you to find the real personality. Sometimes it can be fun to sit in a chat room and observe conversations. It's a great opportunity to learn about the people here. At the very least, you could find some wonderful friends. There are lots of great people here. Finally, be alert for the diamonds in the rough...sometimes the facade isn't to create an impression more favorable than reality, it actually downplays reality. It's always fun to find a gem when/where you least expect to find it. Happy trails! ShezaPremium

So I clearly see that the real world and the cyber-world are really reflections of the same world. That if you want to find happiness, you need to be happy. Do good things, have good friends, work on positive thoughts and put the negative in a box on a shelf. Oh it sounds almost trite and so simple. But like anything worth having you have to really work the program. The best part of getting up in ES age bracket is that you have this tremendous amount of experience, good, bad, amusing, raw, painful but all uniquely yours. What do you do to make the most of it... do you sit on the computer for hours making virtual friends, do you sit in front of the TV and live vicariously or do you get up, find something that works a little and then build on that? Seems like option three is a no brainer. Sure great to have this blog! Thanks Monte and Admin :) Cassy

My how we love putting the cyber-dating thing in a box. We examine it, which is to say we poke fun at it, criticize it, cast a hypocritical scowl at it and then feel all good when we stand up and say - It doesnt work for me...". Like there couldnt exist another side of the 'doesnt work for me..." story. Unlike in the real world where we are required to "own it", in cyber, denial and not having to be responsible are just a click away. Well, how's the real world workin out for ya? Why isnt anyone comparing or complaining about what drove you to online dating in the first place? Ya know, the same disappointments, broken promises, deceit etc that we encounter here, not to mention our such busy lives that somehow escape blame for us believing we have found a short cut to relationship bliss. What makes us think that trading the occupancy of the real world for a profile in cyber-land is somehow going to change who we really are? As if when we go thru the cyber-door, somehow all that we really are, conveniently gets left behind...Or that cyber, unlike real life, is where the relationship promised land really lies. Where we think its just easier to find what we think we are looking for. Everything you are and are not begins and ends with real life- literally and figuratively. We have been complaining about real life a lot longer than we have about on line dating. The difference is, no one wants to hear - "This life thing, it just isnt working for me..." >m< >m<

People are who they are where ever they appear. If they pretend to be something or someone, they are that sort of person. If they are solid in their selves they will present that person consistently. Insecurity, lack of self respect or fear may make a nugget seem a coal for a time but that will clear up with patience from members and experience that builds trust and a sense of security in them. Those who bolster their self image and sense of self value by romancing without meaning or commitment online are that person in life. Maybe they are players and maybe they are trying to be real but don't know how to create a real relationship. Life is an experience in learning of many kinds. The main lesson is learning who we are ourselves and living true to that. How we deal with others derives from within and being assured of ourselves makes the uncertainty of and acceptance of others, even when they disappoint much easier. These days for me, that experience has become so much a part of life that accepting the possibility that I will not be disappointed might be the challenge. It is easier to be relaxed alone than saddened by disappointment. My face book page now says, "waiting for a miracle" The media where we meet is not the problem for those with my life style, belief and commitments. The problem is that we are set in our lives and it is rare to meet anyone that is compatible in any setting. Those who feel betrayed are more betrayed by their creation of who they believe they have met than the person that they have met. People cannot be more than they are, more integrated as a person than their lives and introspection have brought them to be, no matter where they present themselves. We just need to let them show us where they are on that path while learning who and what they are. Being in a rush to love rather than letting love grow as a natural process is foolhardy for a mature person and I don't see many kids on this site. So we have to be willing to accept some risk in being disappointed, but we don't have to risk being heart broken. I have enjoyed meeting people here and friendship, humour, laughter till my dogs thought I was crazy, and I have had my moments when I thought, wow! I have traveled long distance to meet two women as a result of interest we developed in one another here and with email that in the end did not work out. Life experience!