Hi, One of my friends sent their daughter on a nice honeymoon instead of helping with a lavish wedding. They had a nice simple garden wedding. Saved my friend thousands $ to send them somewhere plus less headaches and more fun for the newlyweds. Rain

OMG Dear Lady, You have my prayers with you... It's amazing just what some of these kids think is owed to them. When they have yet to go out and really make or do anything with they're life. I went through the wedding ordeal last September 06 with my youngest daughter. My husband and I did everything for the wedding, and I do mean everything (the grooms family did NOTHING). While at the time my dear husband was dying. He died 10 days short of her wedding. We had made all the invitations of which I continued doing while sitting on the bed by his side. He had welded the center pieces, and the wedding cake stands. We fixed all the food, I did the wedding cake, we did quilts, and it was the most beautiful elegant country wedding imaginable. We were on the tightest of budgets. Our daughter was pleased with the results and though her dad wasn't there to walk her down the isle (sp) I did with the help of her brother. It was kind of bitter sweet. I think I was on auto pilot for a lot of weeks there but somehow and with Gods help I made it through a funeral and wedding. Tell your daughter to rethink things, in a more realistic way. To consider everyone feelings and situation not just hers. Whatever you can afford tell her that is what there is and only that. You can only do so much. Whether they have a big blown out affair or a simple quiet family/friends wedding none of that will matter years down the road. It isn't the ceremony that makes the marriage. Good luck with everything. My thoughts and prayers and understand are certainly with you. Judy

Hotel reservations: $21,000. Valet Parking: $5000 Three course meal and a cash bar: $2000 Getting herself a job and paying for it: Priceless I had to pay for my own wedding. . . . The plans sure get cut down to size when it's your paycheck you're talking about. Breezy

I'd ask your daughter where in the parenting handbook it says you are to pay lavish expenses for her to get hitched. I agree with Gifted...give her a road map to Las Vegas! Player :-)

Do I hear Vegas????? It would be a cold day in hell before I spent money I didnt have on a major leauge "rat killin wedding" I hate to sound harsh, but I have seen way too many of the show type weddings that were just a bust all the way around.. Last May I was the best man at a very nice wedding.....they rented a farmers hay barn.....had everyone bring a covered dish and their own wine......they had a rear quarter of beef on the barby and a pig......the brides dad rounded up his old band buddies and we danced to 60"s hippy music......was a blast...and Big Nate and Hillerie had a wonderful wedding

I think its a rather simple thing to do, you just say no. My kids were both 21 when they got married so paid for their own weddings. I helped with alot of things but they were responsible enough and did not expect mom or dad to be held accountable for the bill.

I have sons and one is married. My son is still happily married and we had a small intimate family type beautiful ceremony at my parents home. My aunt married them and it was really pretty. its what they wanted and it meant more to them then a BIG hoopla that no one would remember..I realize thats Not all girls dreams..so ask if the other parents can help out with cost as well. I paid for it all and Im the grooms mom so its possible and not wrong to ask. My nephew spent over 50 grand and they lasted 7 months now they are divorcing.lol soooo Id put a limit on it.

Did you ask here if she has some kind of a money tree growing someplace that she is planning to use to help you pay for this fairy tale wedding she wants. If you are independantly wealthy you spare no expense but if you have a bottom to your pocket book then she has to understand that. Give her a price range you can manage and stand firm behind that amount.Don't let her talk you into any thing over that unless she wants to pay for it.And I don't mean,"Oh mom if you will buy this for me I will pay you back later".To them that means "She won't miss it". If she is old enough to get married then she is old enough to know and understand all of this You understand she wants a very pretty wedding but you can have a very pretty wedding alot cheaper than what her price is. I have two girls and both got married and much cheaper than that and they were very pretty and very tasteful but at the same time did not put me in a spot where I thought I was paying off the national debt. Dresses alone are so costly if you let it get out of hand.As for feeding alot of people.Get ready to shell out money for that.Hopefully she will keep the guess list to a minmuim. Good Luck. Paradiselady

Did you ask how she feels about elopement?!?! lol

WOW I can sympathize with you I am a single Mom........my daughetrs Dad has never been in her life and they just announced plans to me...OUCH